My roommate and I have conversations while I'm at work. Usually they're in all caps. Usually they're something like this.
AIM IM with Gregorio.
6/10/08, 10:41 AM
me:
I'm pretty happy we decided to let strangers into our home
him:
me toome:
FINALLY
him:
it is the first guests we have hadme:
I left them a note on the white board
him:
what it sayme:
"WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LOOK IN THE CUPBOARDS"
him:
hahahme:
no, it really says this:
him:
'help yourself to the abbacus stew'me:
HELLO
thank you for making our house clean :)
I did draw the happy face, too
him:
hahaha
nice
'you can take everything but my computer, my guitar and the wii'
'help yourself to the abacus stew'
i'm going to keep saying that until it is funny
it is not there yetme:
I, for one, applaud the combination of the words "abacus stew"
him:
it is a good combome:
Hi, welcome to Abacus Stew, would you like to try our new Fresh Zesty Lamb Crabs Bucket Combo Luncheon Combo #1 today?
him:
it smells like lasers in hereme:
my ascot has become less cauliflower
this beef smacks of carter administration
there is a gondola immensely flavoring my blockade
him:
this blimp action is completely diversifying my soup palate
i would like to report a missing cat brain
waiter, there's a dictator in my potatoesme:
harharhar
him:
SHARFBLANG
OIZELSHNOINKENSme:
father, this James Gandolfini is in need of alterations, please take it up approximately 2 inches
him:
attention pilsbury doughboy, we need your ass to stop up the giant dam explosion of 1948, please get in the spaceshipme:
Sir Farthingtonshirebottomwick, this episode of Legume Fate Action Theatre has fallen short of expectations, lie sideways on these gastropods and await further instructions
him:
Dear Hawaiian Punch Guy, Your script was excellent. I never expected much out of you because you just punch people, but you can really really write. Please submit this to Doris Day's corpse or Mary Tyler Moore and make sure you put on a smile. You have a long ride ahead, wear pillows.me:
hahahahaha
him:
legume fate action theatre is absolutely crazy man
i can't stop laughing
Mother, the prawns have arrived. i've tried everything. there is no hope. tell mom that you are her. she will be confused OH FUCK THE PRAWNS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHme:
HAHAHAHAHA
THE PRAWNS
him:
please save this conversationme:
OH I WILL
him:
colonel sanders arrives in a doorless car, he spits on you as he steps out. you realize he has no lower torso so you raise your hand. colonel sanders calls on you,
you ask him 'mr sanders welcome back from uranus. what new flavors did you find?'
colonel sanders 'I have seen things no man should see. you sent me off to find new flavors but instead i have discovered alien horrors the likes of which cannot be explained.'
it slowly starts raining popcorn chicken and sad music plays. the popcorn chicken becomes a storm
kfc: flavors from uranusme:
"epic, greasy, sass-filled adventure" raves Gene Shalit
him:
why can't they just give us a job at cartoon networkme:
they could
we could do that
him:
as writers
of the most random crap everme:
it'd be better than some of the stuff they're airing right now
at least
him:
yeah totally
as long as there are stoners we would always have workme:
WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE WORK
I went to college
him:
as long as there is syrup in my bottleme:
they taught us that
"let's not fight"
camera pans away, syrup sprays everywhere
Note: The last part of this conversation references a script that Greg & I have been writing as an ongoing project. We might end up posting it here some day... when we feel it's finished enough to share.
