Drunk History vol. 3 - Featuring Danny McBride

Late one night Jen Kirkman drank a bottle and a half of wine and then discussed an historical event...

The one IM to rule them all

Occasionally, I get random people that send me a message on AIM. It used to happen quite often, but hasn't in a long while until today. It went like this:

thefoolishtook:
jen?
me:
Samwise?
thefoolishtook:
not quite
me:
not quite jen, either
thefoolishtook:
so its not the meddo plt ldr that we all know and love?
me (but really Krystle, my co-worker typing):
nope, it's the cuddly teddy bear that we all love to squeeze
thefoolishtook:
well teddy bear, tell jen to answer her phone
me:
honestly, I only know one Jen and she's my coworker and married, so I don't think she's who you're looking for
but I'll tell her to answer her phone
thefoolishtook:
uhhh sorry, i think i have the wrong sn
{thefoolishtook has gone Offline}
me (in real life):
what the hell is a meddo plt ldr?

DOES ANYBODY KNOW?

Where do they get those wonderful toys?

Kmart, probably.



This video is courtesy the folks over at wizarduniverse.com

This is what happens #3 - Network Champions

My roommate and I have conversations while I'm at work. Usually they're in all caps. Usually they're something like this.

AIM IM with Gregorio.
6/10/08, 10:41 AM

me:
I'm pretty happy we decided to let strangers into our home
him:
me too
me:
FINALLY
him:
it is the first guests we have had
me:
I left them a note on the white board
him:
what it say
me:
"WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LOOK IN THE CUPBOARDS"
him:
hahah
me:
no, it really says this:
him:
'help yourself to the abbacus stew'
me:
HELLO
thank you for making our house clean :)
I did draw the happy face, too
him:
hahaha
nice
'you can take everything but my computer, my guitar and the wii'
'help yourself to the abacus stew'
i'm going to keep saying that until it is funny
it is not there yet
me:
I, for one, applaud the combination of the words "abacus stew"
him:
it is a good combo
me:
Hi, welcome to Abacus Stew, would you like to try our new Fresh Zesty Lamb Crabs Bucket Combo Luncheon Combo #1 today?
him:
it smells like lasers in here
me:
my ascot has become less cauliflower
this beef smacks of carter administration
there is a gondola immensely flavoring my blockade
him:
this blimp action is completely diversifying my soup palate
i would like to report a missing cat brain
waiter, there's a dictator in my potatoes
me:
harharhar
him:
SHARFBLANG
OIZELSHNOINKENS
me:
father, this James Gandolfini is in need of alterations, please take it up approximately 2 inches
him:
attention pilsbury doughboy, we need your ass to stop up the giant dam explosion of 1948, please get in the spaceship
me:
Sir Farthingtonshirebottomwick, this episode of Legume Fate Action Theatre has fallen short of expectations, lie sideways on these gastropods and await further instructions
him:
Dear Hawaiian Punch Guy, Your script was excellent. I never expected much out of you because you just punch people, but you can really really write. Please submit this to Doris Day's corpse or Mary Tyler Moore and make sure you put on a smile. You have a long ride ahead, wear pillows.
me:
hahahahaha
him:
legume fate action theatre is absolutely crazy man
i can't stop laughing
Mother, the prawns have arrived. i've tried everything. there is no hope. tell mom that you are her. she will be confused OH FUCK THE PRAWNS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
me:
HAHAHAHAHA
THE PRAWNS
him:
please save this conversation
me:
OH I WILL
him:
colonel sanders arrives in a doorless car, he spits on you as he steps out. you realize he has no lower torso so you raise your hand. colonel sanders calls on you,
you ask him 'mr sanders welcome back from uranus. what new flavors did you find?'
colonel sanders 'I have seen things no man should see. you sent me off to find new flavors but instead i have discovered alien horrors the likes of which cannot be explained.'
it slowly starts raining popcorn chicken and sad music plays. the popcorn chicken becomes a storm
kfc: flavors from uranus
me:
"epic, greasy, sass-filled adventure" raves Gene Shalit
him:
why can't they just give us a job at cartoon network
me:
they could
we could do that
him:
as writers
of the most random crap ever
me:
it'd be better than some of the stuff they're airing right now
at least
him:
yeah totally
as long as there are stoners we would always have work
me:
WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE WORK
I went to college
him:
as long as there is syrup in my bottle
me:
they taught us that
"let's not fight"
camera pans away, syrup sprays everywhere

Note: The last part of this conversation references a script that Greg & I have been writing as an ongoing project. We might end up posting it here some day... when we feel it's finished enough to share.

Sam Raimi - Drag Me To Hell

Another Comic-Con recommendation:
3:45-5:15, Hall H
Universal Pictures presents key cast members, filmmakers, and previously unseen footage from its upcoming slate, including Summer 2008's The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and Death Race. Additionally, the studio will showcase talent and materials from 2009 films such as Land of the Lost and Drag Me to Hell.



This recommendation is almost entirely due to Sam Raimi's return to his signature style of horror twisted with a bit of comedy with his new movie, Drag Me To Hell. Raimi is supposed to be there to screen footage from the movie. I can't tell you whether or not I worked on what he's going to show.

IMDB!

Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog

Starring Neil Patrick Harris

If you're a fan of Joss Whedon, The NPH, musicals, or all three, then check it out.

WATCH IT HERE



UPDATE: For those of us going to the San Diego Comic-Con, there will be a Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog panel on FRIDAY. Here is the info--

FRIDAY, JULY 25
10:45-12:00 Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog— The story of a low-rent supervillain (Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Horrible), the hero who keeps beating him up (Nathan Fillion as Captain Hammer), and the cute girl from the laundromat he's too shy to talk to (Felicia Day as Penny). This musical in three parts, created for the Internet and written by Joss Whedon, Jed Whedon, Zack Whedon, and Maurissa Tancharoen, premieres in its entirety on the big screen at Comic-Con. Room 6B

or if you just want to get up on the Joss Whedon you can go to his own panel 1:30-2:30 in Ballroom 20.

"In Radiohead's new video for "House of Cards", no cameras or lights were used. Instead, 3D plotting technologies collected information about the shapes and relative distances of objects. The video was created entirely with visualizations of that data."

Whatever, it looks cool.



Also, you can view and manipulate the data imaging sets on Google
http://code.google.com/creative/radiohead/viewer.html

Fluffy Time for Bed

You've heard of the Dog Whisperer, meet the Dog Serenader

English Bulldog Father meets daughter first time

The look on his face says it all.

This is what happens #2 - Alt Cussing

My roommate and I have conversations while I'm at work. Usually they're in all caps. Usually they're something like this.

AIM IM with GREGORIO.
6/3/08, 10:43 AM

me:
hey what's the Onyx song you can do?
him:
slam
just the sticky fingaz part
me:
yeah but that's the best part anyway
him:
we all need to go out and get drinks next week
it has been too long
me:
I agree
with everything you just said
him:
yeah sadly i think most of old town is kind of lame
i can't go tonight i gotta work
next week though
me:
WHAT THE F
him:
yeah dude
me:
POOP
him:
FART BAGS
me:
SHRIMP BASKET
him:
BONNET OF SQUIRELS
me:
CUNNILINGUS CRACKERS
KING JAMES BIBLE
him:
FRUMPY CLOWN BOTTOM
me:
ESOTERIC LANGUAGE FILTER
him:
GRANDMA MUZZLE
ARETHA FRANKLIN MARRIAGE LICENSE DISPENSER
me:
CANKLE BANK
him:
hahhahahaha
man thats a good one